THE OBAMA'S EIGHT ESSENTIALS EVERY CHILD NEEDS TO THRIVE

September 2009

America's highest profile parents, Barak and Michelle Obama, are winning world-wide praise for their approach to bringing up their happy and well-adjusted children, Malia Ann (11) and Natasha (Sasha) 8. Despite hectic schedules, the Obama's are creating an environment that delivers eight essentials every child needs to thrive - whether he or she lives in the White House or in your house.

1. Knowing they are loved: What a child needs most is to believe that they are important in their parents' lives and loved deeply. President Obama is very proud that he attended every one of his daughters' teacher conferences during his 21 month election campaign. Even when the Obama family is scattered, they make nightly phone calls to stay in touch. The children know their parents are thinking about them and are staying connected.

2. Not growing up too fast: The time between early childhood and teen-dom is the best opportunity for parents to influence values. One of the Obama's biggest challenges is allowing their daughters to enjoy their pre-teen years without spoiling them. If unchecked, the President's children could have almost anything they imagined.

3. Experiencing consistency: Small everyday rituals provide comfort. Family routines provide a bedrock of security, especially during major transitions like the Obama kids experienced by moving to Washington DC.

4. Being enveloped in a circle of support: Friends and family provide practical and emotional support - especially handy when one's partner is a "weekend dad", as Michelle has described her husband. That's when a parent needs reliable people to step in to provide support.

5. Having rules - and permission to bend them: Malia and Sasha know their voices count - but that doesn't mean they have and equal say in everything. Clear and consistent rules give kids structure, teach responsibility and clarify right from wrong. The girls know they have full run of the White House - but only if they first tell where they want to go. Rules are good. But to teach flexibility, it's also good to allow kids to bend the rules within reason - a role grandparents often love to play.

6. Learning to think of others: Thinking of others is an Obama family value - Malia and Sasha volunteer to help feed the poor and attend Sidwell Friends (Chelsea Clinton's old Quaker-values school) which promotes respect for others, community service and serving one's country.

7. Being unplugged: The President has read all seven Harry Potter books aloud to Malia. Both girls are now independent readers - an ideal alternative to whiling away hours online. "It's not good enough for you to say to your child, 'Do good in school,'" Obama told a huge crowd during his campaign. "And then your child comes home, you've got the TV set on, you've got the radio on, you don't check homework, there's not a book in the house, you've got the video game playing."

8. Having parents who admit it is difficult raising kids: As with many couples, the Obama's face the challenge of being working parents. Michelle has talked of her concern about balancing work and family. "It's a guilt we all live with in this room," she said in one speech.

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